No Rest for the Weary: James Joyce was Probably an HSP with ADD


michelle3.jpg Michelle Lynn
Stream of Consciousness Writing by the Sleep Deprived.

It’s that late already?  I really meant to get in here sooner.  Wait.  I think my alarm clock is ten minutes faster than the clock on the microwave.  I should check that.  It is.  I wonder how that happened.  I bet it’s from trying to hit the alarm off in the morning, and missing, and then advancing the time ahead.  I wonder how off the time would be if I didn’t change it back for over a year?  11:11 I always look at the time in palindromes.  That’s a palindrome, right?  Same forwards as backwards.  I wonder what the odds are that I always look at the clock like that?  It has to be pretty rare.  Maybe I only remember looking at the clock though when I mentally note it’s a palindrome.  I bet I look at the clock a lot more than I actually think, but it’s just memorable when it happens to be a palindrome.  When in Rome.  That doesn’t apply, but it rhymes.  The word Rome still makes me laugh.  I wish I could remember how old I was when I discovered that “Roman Cokes” were actually rum and cokes.  It’s funny how people can mishear things so often, and be confused for so long.  It feels really warm in here.  I don’t want to turn the air up.  The electric bill was already too high last month, and it’s just April.  Forgot to sew the button back on my Spring jacket.  I wonder if it’s still in the right hand pocket.  That was over a year ago, but I haven’t worn it since.  I better get up and check.  I don’t have to sew it now, but I can in the morning.  Just want to make sure that it’s still there.  It is.  That was the day I was going to Olive Garden with my Grandmother.  I shouldn’t have tugged at it so hard as I was driving.  I don’t even notice I’m pulling or gripping too tightly sometimes.  I haven’t talked to her in so long.  I should really call her.  No, I’d rather email her.  I don’t know what to say.  She’ll probably just lecture me for not calling in so long.  I wonder if that’s how it will be when I’m old.  Will people just not call me for months at a time.  Will I just be sitting there all alone, waiting for someone to contact me.  I might be grumpy then too.  I never thanked my friend for that article on using lavender oil to help you sleep.  It doesn’t really, but it was nice of her to think of me.  I should really send her an email now before I forget again.  I can just keep it short.  I’d rather just send a message through Facebook or a text.  Email seems formal or something now.  If I get on Facebook though, I’m sure someone will see I’m active.  They’ll want to talk, but if they need to talk then it’s good that I am there.  My left temple has a stabbing pain in it.  I keep getting migraines.  I wonder if I have a tumor.  I should Google that.  Never mind.  That’s not going to help me relax.  I don’t understand why that woman at the meeting today looked at me so strangely when I said that I don’t have a credit card, just a debit card?  It doesn’t mean anything is wrong or I can’t get one.  It just means I don’t like using them.  Hey, that’s what the En Vogue song meant by the lyrics, “Buy things with cash.  That doesn’t mean that all my credit’s bad.”  I never understood that until now.  Wait.  Did I put that book in my school bag that I want to copy a page out of tomorrow?  I better check that.  Funny.  I don’t remember doing that.  Her covers look too close to her face.  I wonder if that makes it harder for her to breathe.  Should I pull them down?  I don’t want to wake her.  I don’t want her to not be able to breathe though either.  I better just pull them down a little.  There.  That’s better.  I never made any notes for that presentation tomorrow.  I never look at my notes though anyway.  Maybe I should just practice what I want to say in my head now.  That’s kind of like rehearsing.  Why won’t that dog stop barking.  It’s been hours.  I wonder what he wants?  I hope they didn’t leave for the night and not leave him any water again.  Maybe he’s hungry?  I just need him to stop barking.  I can’t sleep.  I don’t like the way the fabric of the pillowcase rubs on my earrings.  That feeling really bothers me.  I could take them out, but they are so small.  I don’t think my holes would close up now.  It’s been a really long time since I had them pierced.  It was weird how that guy at the grocery store asked how many piercings I had in the other ear.  I wouldn’t have a different number than I had in my left ear.  I think people used to do that though.  I’m thirsty.  I should just drink water, because I think that anything else will keep me up.  I hope that the secretary knew I was being sarcastic when I said, “no kidding” to her.  I might have said it in the wrong tone.  It might have upset her.  She shifted a little in her chair and looked down before laughing.  That’s usually a sign of discomfort.  I really hope I didn’t make her uncomfortable.  I’ll have to walk by and say something nice tomorrow.  Tomorrow.  It’s almost tomorrow.  I better just really try and sleep now.  I can get almost two and a half hours if I fall asleep this second…

Truth be told.  I don’t have a sleeping problem.  It’s more like I have a thinking problem.

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