Pain and Relief, Bundled

by Craig McKenna

As relatable a concept as there ever was, there’s not a person in the world who hasn’t experienced starting from scratch.

Maybe it looks, feels, or sounds different… but regardless of our background, we all know what it feels like to begin again.

Some of us are better equipped to deal with what feels like failure, and yet others can be so consumed emotionally and physically that starting from scratch just feels like what we do in life. Again and again we pick up, move on and decide what parts of our past experience are valuable enough to hold on to… and which parts we’d rather leave behind.

Most of us would probably agree that in some form or another, we are shaped by our past-- our life experiences, positive or negative, have a conditioning effect as we begin again.

Growing up, we hear all the time that if we don’t “learn from our mistakes” we are doomed to repeat them.

Sure, but what if we don’t want to think about the mistakes? What if remembering how painful, and anxious a particular experience or relationship had been for us… what if that just shuts us down completely? How can we learn, when the only relief we feel from the pain is to not think about it at all?

Can we agree that, when the pain is too much to bear, is when it is most important to be in touch with that experience?  After all, our favorite success stories often come from people overcoming intense traumas or failures... getting up, dusting off and having the balls to create something great amidst overpowering emotion.

The challenge we all face is to transcend our past, in order to move our lives forward in a powerful way. And at the end of the day, we all want the same things, right?

Mostly we want love, affection, success, and security… beyond that, maybe we want to experience beauty, spirituality, and learn a few things-- all while having fun along the way. We’re all busy of course, and we’re only human… but maybe the next time we take a look at someone, and aren’t sure of what to make of him or her in that moment… maybe just know that the struggle is real for all of us. We can observe, relate… we can have an impact without ever speaking a word-- a virtual pat on the back.

If we can do that, then maybe the next time we are faced with a situation where we need to start from scratch, we can become in tune with the relief we feel-- not so much the pain. Because we’ve all been there… some just more often than others.