Habits That Stick
“Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.”
You can listen to this AudioBlog or watch the animated episode on YouTube or Spotify.
The Art of Building a Better Life
Habits are the backbone of our daily lives. They shape our actions, dictate our routines, and ultimately define who we are becoming. But how do we ensure the habits we want to develop stick for the long haul? If you’ve ever started a new routine only to watch it fizzle out within weeks, you’re not alone. Building habits that last isn’t about willpower or sheer determination; it’s about strategy and intentionality.
Let’s dive into a simple yet effective framework to create habits that stick—habits that align with your goals, strengthen your personal agency, and lead to a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Decide Your Focus: Get Specific
Before you can build a habit, you need clarity. What do you want to achieve, and why does it matter to you? Vague aspirations like "I want to be healthier" or "I want to read more" lack the specificity needed to turn intentions into actions.
Instead, define your habit in concrete terms. For instance:
“I will exercise for 20 minutes every morning before work.”
“I will read 10 pages of a book every night before bed.”
“I will write in my gratitude journal for 5 minutes each evening.”
Specificity gives you a clear direction and helps you measure progress. When you attach meaning to your habit—connecting it to your values or long-term goals—it becomes more than just a task; it becomes a step toward becoming the person you want to be.
Here’s where most people stumble… They set their sights too high, too fast. While ambition is admirable, biting off more than you can chew often leads to burnout. The key to lasting habits is to start small and build gradually.
Let’s say you want to adopt a morning workout routine. Instead of committing to an hour-long workout right away, start with just 5 minutes. This might seem insignificant, but it’s not about the duration—it’s about showing up. Once the habit becomes automatic, you can scale up.
James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, calls this the "Two-Minute Rule." The idea is to make the habit so easy that it’s impossible to fail. Want to journal every day? Start by writing just one sentence. Want to run a marathon someday? Begin by lacing up your shoes and walking around the block. These small wins build momentum and confidence, creating a foundation for bigger changes down the road.
Creating a Habit Loop: Cue—Routine—Reward
Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, uses the phrase “habit loop.” Duhigg explains that in every successful habit loop, there are three stages: cue, routine, and reward. The cue is a trigger that tells your brain it’s time to to go into automatic mode with your habit.
A cue could be the time of the day, a specific location, or even another activity— something like putting your workout shoes in front of the door or having the floss out on the bathroom countertop next to your toothbrush.
Then there is the routine, which can be physical or mental or social in nature. This is the actual task, such as limiting screen time or going to bed on time.
Finally, there is a reward, which helps your brain determine that that particular loop is worth repeating in the future. Think stress reduction or risk avoidance or an improvement in energy, relationships, or work completion. If we feel good about it, we experience emotional growth and are far more likely to remember and repeat the task the next time we experience the cue. This puts us right back at the start of the habit loop.
Keep It Going: Consistency is Key
The third pillar of habit formation is consistency. This doesn’t mean perfection—it means showing up as often as possible, even when it’s inconvenient. To make consistency easier, reduce friction and leverage with what we might call “habit hacks.”
Habit Hacks to Build Consistency:
Limit Friction: Reduce the activation energy for positive habits. If you want to practice yoga in the morning, lay out your mat and clothes the night before. If you want to eat healthier, keep nutritious snacks in plain sight. Cue the habit with the least amount of start-up friction.
Habit Stacking: Pair a new habit with an existing one. For example, “After I brush my teeth, I’ll meditate for two minutes.” Or, “I can listen to my favorite podcast while I’m doing the dishes.” This leverages your existing routines to anchor new habits. Repeatability becomes higher because of this pairing of activities.
Track Your Progress: Whether it’s a simple checklist, an app, or a journal, tracking your habit can keep you accountable and lets you celebrate small wins along the way. Visuals often reinforce rewards, and therefore habits that stick.
The Role of Self-Compassion
Let’s face it: life gets messy. There will be days when you slip up, and that’s okay. What matters is how you respond. Instead of beating yourself up, approach setbacks with curiosity and self-compassion. Reflect on what went wrong and how you can adjust.
Remember, habit formation is a journey, not a race. It’s about building a system that works for you.
When we talk about habits, we’re really talking about personal agency—the ability to take charge of your life and steer it in the direction you choose. Every habit you cultivate is a vote for the person you want to become. It’s not just about ticking boxes on a to-do list; it’s about creating a life that aligns with your values, your passions, and maybe even your purpose.
So, what habit will you start today? It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be yours.
Let’s make it stick.
Resources
For more motivation and learning, here are some resources on HABITS I recommend checking out.
Atomic Habits by James Clear
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey
And more…
YouTube.com/MrTodnem Facebook.com/MrTodnem Instagram.com/ScottAmpersand