Life and Limb: Johnny Whoops

June 02, 2017 by Scott Todnem

Like the human hand, ups and downs are always connected, always a part of who we are. Inseparable. We are a compilation of our actions— both the virtues and downfalls. We are a series of trips and tangles, of conquests and clarity, all in a beautifully imperfect melody up the spiral staircase of progress. The creaks in the floorboards give each step character. The chips in the railing, a sign of reassurance.

Failure and success. All there, at the tips of our proverbial fingers.

Endless Possibility: Choose Your Own Adventure

March 14, 2017 by Scott Todnem

Choose Your Own Adventure books are aimed at young readers because, into our teen years, we realize that not knowing all potential outcomes can actually make a story more enjoyable. Not to mention the true plot of each Adventure book was only slightly adjusted by the perceived "choices" anyway.

In other words, the novels, movies, and television series we enjoy are most exciting when they are thought-provoking— and maybe even plot twisting— but we don't need to have direct input to be entertained. In fact, sometimes it's the new ideas, offered by other points of view, that compel us to think and to feel beyond our mind's own limitations.

When Push Comes to Shove: Beyond a Shadow of Self-Doubt

December 30, 2016 by Scott Todnem

There was a time when I kept a pen and notebook on my bedside stand. The goal was to record all those midnight thoughts that seem so intensely important… and also to recall dreams and nightmares to relive the brain’s strangest moments.

I had a dream one night that took me into a jolting and enlightening encounter with a ghost. It was so realistic that it jarred me from deep sleep. Upon waking in the dark hours of the middle of that night, I quickly jotted down a couple lines of scratchy, half-complete thoughts. Configured into full sentence form in the morning, they left me with the beginning of what sounded like a future movie script right there in my journal:

You figured out why ghosts exist.

Knock on Wood: Stupid Superstition

November 30, 2016 by Scott Todnem

I've always been superstitious. Not the kind of superstitious where I truly believe horrible things will come my way if I don't perform a certain task, but superstitious in the sense that... well... it's kind of fun.

I mean, that's sort of it, right? It's all just for fun.

I don't think spines will explode if I step on a crack. I don't think years will be ruined if I break a mirror. And I don't really think it was me who made it all happen because of the way I sat and watched a World Series game— but it's fun anyway, right?

Once in a Blue Moon: Cubs Win!

October 28, 2016 by Scott Todnem

Tonight, I attend the first World Series game at Wrigley Field in 71 years.

I'll be sitting next to my father, who has lived his entire life without seeing the Cubs make it to the World Series, and I'll be filled with the memories of grandparents and other family members who lived through the last century but never saw a Series win.

Lovable losers? No more. Next year is here.

X Marks the Spot: Stories Within Stories

September 22, 2016 by Scott Todnem

I'm a collector. I save things as mementos, as reminders of times in my past. But it's the stories that matter. It is in the stories that I lose myself, thinking about what has come and gone, contemplating what might be. I find myself daydreaming, wondering how I can become a better storyteller. I also get lost wondering what the stories will be of me. Friend or foe? Pirate or Patriot?

What will be my legacy?

Take It or Leave It: Missed Opportunity

July 21, 2016 by Scott Todnem

Sure, we all want great deals in life. Every time, all the time. And it would be short-sighted to just throw money out the window. But the mind doesn't hold on to money, it holds on to regret. Wishing we made better choices in our past sits in the forefront of sad memories.

Real regret is rooted in missed opportunity, not in the times we were moved to action. This is often known as Hobson’s choice: A choice of taking what is available or being left with nothing at all.

The Moment of Truth: Twenty Questions

June 07, 2016 by Scott Todnem

Twenty years ago, I graduated from high school. The anniversary date was just a few days ago.

At that point, an answer to the notorious question was complicated. It was unknown; it was far away. Asked of graduates each and every year, I remember it being my time. My chance to hear it over and over again... especially after college entrance exams and senior year of high school came to a close. And at that point, I really didn't know.

What did I want to do?

I knew I didn't want a desk job. I knew I didn't want to go into the military. I knew I didn't want to get into sales. I knew I didn't really want to work in construction, automotives, medicine, or engineering.

I knew more about what I didn't want to do than what I did want to do.

The question didn't matter because I wasn't ready for a moment of truth.

Spring Cleaning: Pictures to Prove It

May 06, 2016 by Scott Todnem

One of the most meaningful collections I hope to keep around is not even mine, in actuality. My parents have amassed an outstanding collection of photographs.

A photograph can bring all of this to the forefront of the memory; stories of the past beg to be shared. Impromptu reminiscence can bring everyone into the room. It's the "I remember when..." and "That was the time..." that garner the most attention. Not every story ends happily ever after, either. But all stories have a moral. Eventually, all stories serve a purpose. Sometimes, the purpose is in the actual storytelling experience.

No smart device can draw a red-blooded kid away from a good family story. At least, not the stories worth telling. And retelling. And retelling...

True? Potentially. Embellished? Absolutely.

Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover: The Holocaust Museum

April 03, 2016 by Scott Todnem

What really woke me from my solemn daydream wasn't so much the southern accents, it was a specific comment.

One of the boys was reading the handout identification card he had popped out of his pocket; the museum gives one to all visitors at the onset of the museum tour. It chronicles the life of one person who endured the Holocaust. Some individuals lived through the tragedy, in many cases separated from loved ones in the process, while the majority highlighted in the booklets suffered an untimely death at the hands of Nazi brutality.

This young boy next to me, 16 or 17 at most, blurted out in discovery that the card he was holding was of a persecuted homosexual man.

The Long Road Ahead: A Marathon Session

March 03, 2016 by Scott Todnem

Over five years ago, my lovely girlfriend and soon-to-be wife, Sarah, decided to sign up for the Chicago Marathon. The challenge and the training and the culminating event were going to be representative of life's roller coaster ride. It would be a test of her physical and mental will; a battle over the proverbial obstacles of stress and struggle at that time in her life.

However, after months of training, just two weeks before the marathon, she opted out. While fighting constant knee pain, she couldn't put her body through the mileage that was beating her down with overuse injury. It was a tough choice but the right one, proving intelligence and foresight for future joint health. Smart.

That's where I stepped in.

Why let the registration go unused? Or, at most, why sell the race number to someone else?

"I could run it," I thought.

The Shirt Off One's Back: Saving the World

February 01, 2016 by Scott Todnem

So, the world is crashing down.

Or at least that's what some of the public is led to believe. Either convinced by themselves or, from outside sources, persuaded to think that because the world is constantly changing, constantly in a state of flux, constantly evolving in the means of human living, our younger generations are causing the future of mankind to go down in flames. A pitiful pyre of enabled, self-absorbed, feeble little video game brains.

I am but one man. And in this one man's humble opinion, the world is just fine.

Water Under the Bridge: The Big Wave of Guilt

January 02, 2016 by Scott Todnem

I can count on one hand the number of times I've been in the ocean. The leading memory being the Pacific while on my first honeymoon. Hawaii. It was while surfing off the coast of Maui in my mid-twenties that I vividly remember being consumed by the water in a sudden, overwhelming spin of a *cough* quite modest wave on a learner's beach. It was nothing, really, except a good old-fashioned wipeout. Upturned and smacked right in the face like a complete newbie.

Also consuming within that memory was the spinning experience of a new marriage. I remember thinking I'd look back at pictures of the trip for years to come. It made me think about being old; it made me contemplate one of the biggest decisions of my young life. And my mind wandered to its usual level of ridiculousness... with just a hint of premonition.

"I wonder where we'll live when we're wrinkly and looking back at these pictures of now. Will I remember driving this Jeep around the island listening to punk rock? If I have kids they'll probably think my hair was really dark. Will I remember these striped trees that look like candy? I may never be this skinny again. Did I make the right decision in marriage?"

Method to the Madness: The Giving Tree

December 02, 2015 by Scott Todnem

Atop a man-made hill and without conversation, the three of us grabbed hold of a low-hanging tree branch, and with our combined bodyweight, broke the big limb straight off the trunk of the tree.

It was a thick branch, but we took it down in a split second with an echoing snap.

It started without the need for a plan; we acted without regard for an outcome.

Bite the Bullet: Slaying the Dragon

November 21, 2015 by Scott Todnem

Writing has always been my dragon.

It has been this imaginary entity in the shadows, incubating and feeding in some dark cave deep within, waiting for the right time to rear it's beautifully ugly head and challenge me to an epic duel.

Me: just a man. The dragon: a full-length novel.

It has been so easy to give in to self-doubt. Avoiding confrontation with this beast is the easy road... and one I've been known to take. I've sidestepped the battle through small deflections of writing shorts and blog posts. Never an opus.

What if I fail? I can't possibly write a novel... how would it ever get published anyway?

Starting From Scratch: Life After Winnie Cooper

October 04, 2015 by Scott Todnem

Grief holds a lot of faces. And like anyone, I've had my fair share of looks and expressions.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to admit that we're not okay. To admit that, in fact, no, we're not fine. That life is hard and days can be tough and while the weeks keep rolling we're a semi-truck out of control on a mountainside highway.

Sometimes we trip ourselves into the downhill disaster, other times horrible news hits us like concrete to the face.

Why this? Why me? Why do bad things happen to good people?

The Early Bird Gets the Worm: Every Day Matters

September 10, 2015 by Scott Todnem

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I chose to write today instead of earlier in the month because of the meaning and symbolism behind this day. Each year, September's focus elicits an awareness in me of the journey we are all a part of-- the struggle to constantly stamp out inner demons. The difficult fight within.

My battle? Like any other, perhaps, with the beautiful disaster in the details.
I doubt myself every day. I never know if I’m good enough. Good as a dad, good as a teacher, as a coach, as a friend, as a husband... as a person.

I may not be an early bird, but every day I rise and shine regardless, for those I need and for those who need me.

Fame and Fortune: A Signature Day

August 05, 2015 by Scott Todnem

I remember in elementary school once taking an entire rainy Saturday to practice my signature.

A pen and a brand new notebook, page after page of all different styles of lettering, sizing, loops, and flourishes: SCOTT TODNEM.

How should the's' look? When do the 't's' get crossed? What about all the letters at the end... script them out or trail off in a cool looking line? What would Michael Jordan do?

Come on, 5th grade Scott, how will you brand yourself once you're rich and famous and all these people in the world want your autograph?

And then it hit me. What if I don't grow up to be famous?

Everything in Moderation: All Work and No Play

July 02, 2015 by Scott Todnem

"What do you do?"
We hear this all the time. Of course it means, "What is your job? What is your chosen profession?" As if our job defines us; as if we'll remain on the same path indefinitely. Quite the contrary, U.S. employees only stay in their current field an average of 4.6 years, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Without true purpose, it seems like that's the way it is. You know the song: everybody's working for the weekend. And so it goes, until something purposeful strikes swift like a horror film to make our hearts race in anticipation.

Better Late Than Never: When It Rains, It Pours

June 07, 2015 by Scott Todnem

I had the misfortunate of being born a Cubs fan.

I use the term misfortunate only because of the obvious-- the lack of a World Series win since 1908.

I love the Cubs, however, and stick with the northsiders through and through like a true Chicago sports fan. Up and, well, mostly down, I'm here, waiting 'til that next season everyone's always talking about. Despite all this, and over 100 years of losing, I had the true fortune of going to the first Cubs night game.

My father got two tickets to the game at Wrigley Field on August 8, 1988. I was 10 years old.

Section 208, Row 21, Seat 1. A $6.00 face value. I still have the ticket stub.